The Wake Up Call

Ugh...where to begin. Today has been gross. I have a bad temper, if you know me well you that I struggle to control it. alot. My fuse is short. I'm not proud of that fact and it is something that I am paying someone to help me with and boy is she going to get a story next week! Today started out as a crappy day, last night Abby slept badly, she has a cold. This morning she wouldn't eat her breakfast(won't eat=throwing food around and saying no alot), when your child won't eat it is SO ANNOYING. So, I'm trying to get ready and get her ready to go to Music Together and I decide to just take a banana for her to eat in the car (that banana changed my life lol). While I am deciding this and getting ready and trying to eat my breakfast Abby is crying, whining, throwing herself on the floor, stomping, scowling...all around ensuring she will be an only child for the rest of her life. My fuse was short. My temper was teetering on the edge. I get her into the car, after chasing her around it, and strap her in. Start the car, someone's little hand reaches up and the whining starts in the back seat. She wants a damn snack. ugh! so I get a banana out of the diaper bag and pass it back to her. She throws it on the floor of the car out of anger because apparently she didn't want a banana. That did it for me. I thought to myself, "OH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST THROW THAT FUCKING BANANA ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I thought let me just get this crap off the floor now before I forget and it starts to stink and then Edgar will get annoyed with me. So, I get out of the car and open the back passenger door and think, "hmmm...why is the car moving backwards?" and then I think, "OMFG THE CAR IS MOVING BACKWARDS!!!!!" Yes. I had the car in reverse and I got out and took my foot off the brake (hold your applause please) while the car was still in reverse. I just start screaming, "Omygodomygodomygod!!!!!!!" and Abby starts to cry (yea she is strapped into a moving car with no one behind the wheel, that's how I roll ok?) This where our carport comes in handy. I see that my driver's side door is about to hit one of the legs of the carport and think, "omygod I'm screwed if I f the car up!" and try to get into the car but can't do it fast enough because duh it's moving, so the driver's door gets caught on the leg of the carport slowing it down so that I can get in it and stop the car. Edgar runs out of the house because he heard me screaming from inside and (bless him) he gives me a big hug and tells me that everything is ok. Then after it sunk in he got real mad at me but hey I don't blame him that was pretty f'ing stupid.
I am so lucky that the car port slowed down the car. It could have been so much worse and just thinking about it makes me feel sick. The car could have kept going into the street and been hit by a car WITH ABBY IN IT. Or it could have hit someone's house. ugh. All because I was mad about some stupid piece of banana and that Abby had pissed me off sooooooooooo badly all morning I had no patience for that banana on the floor. I think I have learned today that sweating the small stuff is not worth it. Financially ( as now we have to pay our deductible, it's an AT FAULT ACCIDENT-MY FIRST BY THE WAY so our insurance will go up next year yay) that banana was not worth it. That piece of banana was not worth my baby being strapped alone in a moving vehicle with no one to control it. Being a mom is hard, stressful, frustrating beyond belief sometimes, and I don't even have to go to an outside job that was just us trying to go to a fun music class. Every summer, sadly, we hear about some mom or dad or forgot their baby was asleep in the car and left them in there. I used to think.."HOW could someone do that? How could you FORGET your child was in the car?" well, if you had to deal with all that frustration and getting to work and driving to daycare and being on time I guess I could see how a bad decision can be made. Pick your battles. Life is too short. Don't sweat the small stuff. Stop and smell the roses and hug your babies.