1 year...

So Abby is 1 now. We celebrated her birthday yesterday, and saturday, and the saturday before that, yea I know overkill but we were excited ok! Life with Abby has been a little trying lately, she has had an ear infection, teething, and some kind of personality change that is not cool at all. I think someone came and switched babies on me when I wasn't looking because gone is my little happy go lucky, good eater, no tantrum girl instead I have a girl who gets mad if she is in her high chair for more than 5 minutes, looses her mind if she can't pick something up or move it, and cries. ALL THE TIME. So this past week has been a bad one, I'll admit yes I have lost my temper and yelled at her. There I said it. I'm not proud of it but there you go. I have also wanted to get in my car and drive away, far away and leave her with her father for a few days, hey a girl can dream right?
I have decided I'm going to use this blog now not just to document Abby's milestones and cute little stories but to get stuff off my chest and to just talk about motherhood in general. First off I would like to say IT'S HARD. Really hard, much harder than I thought it would be, there is no break it's 24/7. I knew this before I had a baby but I guess I just didn't KNOW it. If I say this to my husband he thinks that I don't want to be a stay at home mom anymore or don't love being a mother, sigh...men. I love being a mom and I love staying home with her it's just that it is the most I have ever worked in my life. On my busiest day at work I never worked this hard. I can't believe I have been doing it for a whole year, I also can't believe I have been nursing for a whole year. If you could have seen me when I started breastfeeding, I sucked at it. Abby sucked at it (or not as the case may be) we were a mess. I wanted to quit so freaking bad, I hated my husband for not letting me quit and went off on multiple tirades about how it is not his body but mine and blah blah "I am woman hear me" etc...we saw a lactation consultant and it got so much better after that. So now a year later I'm not planning on stopping until she is ready, UNLESS she is not ready by the time she is 2, then we will be having a talk.