FAIL

Ever have one of those days as a mom/woman/human that you just feel like you are just sucking at everything? I am almost to the end of one of those days right now. I have got nothing accomplished today in my house, the bathroom is DISGUSTING especially since I took a shower w/ Abby this morning and put her on the floor after wrapped in a towel and she then peed. The kitchen looks like bed bath and beyond threw up w/ dishes and lord knows what everywhere. I turned my back on Abby for one second while attempting to make dinner and she proceeded to get her arm caught in the bars on the baby gate in such a way that I have NO IDEA how she got it in there. Of course this was right as Edgar was walking in the door and I'm screaming, "o my god!!!!!!!" and he's like "WHAT?" I honestly don't know how we got her arm out w/o breaking it, her arm was at such a weird angle. She is fine, her arm moves and she is now laughing and being herself again, I am still shaking and panicked.
The one thing that I thought I did right today was to buy a new bathing suit. I HATE shopping for these things, I'm sure I'm not alone in this. My problem is I have breasts. Big ones. And I'm still nursing so...draw your own conclusions. All the suits I try on are too small in the boob area, who the hell do they make these things for??? But today I found a semi decent suit, a 2 piece, cute colours! On sale too! I tried it on, not too shabby. I mean the boobs are definitly noticable but it's kind of hard to disguise them in a bathing suit you know? Eukeka! I thought, hooray the search is over!!!!!!!!!! I proudly brought my new suit home, tried it on again. Ok, ok...I can wear this I think. Edgar came home and proudly I try it on for him after dinner, anticipating the compliments. "It's too small on top." are the first words out of his mouth. "yea you are right, I'm taking it back" I respond. Wtf.

hey no fair!

so...Edgar just got back from church and getting his hair cut, he was gone for almost 2 hours. Now he is taking a nice shower before heading upstairs for a day of working from home on a sunday no less! While he was at church I fed Abby breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, kept Abby from injuring herself and lord knows what else, entertained her w/o putting her infront of the TV, put loads of laundry in the wash, and kept Max from licking his boo boo leg. um....hey! NO FAIR! I would like to take a shower, I would like to get my hair cut with out having to drag Abby along and rush home again afterwards to make dinner or something. I guess this is just the age old difference between men and women, I guess I didn't notice it before I had a baby so much and became a stay at home mom. I don't mind cleaning and cooking and taking care of Abby, but sometimes I would like a break ya know?
ok I'm finished complaining about that now. In his defense, Edgar is folding clothes right now.
Abby's latest obsession is my belly button. weird right? Not so comfortable for me either, I kind of don't like little people pulling up my shirt and putting their fingers into my belly button as hard as they can. Reminds me of a guy I dated who had this fear his belly button would unravel, hee hee, traumatized by his older brother. He would totally freak out if you went near his belly button! She is also very into blowing rasberries on my belly, which is totally hilarious! We get many laughs from that.
I am lucky to have a great life, sometimes it gets on my nerves but it could be sooooo much worse, or I could have Abby in daycare 10 hrs a day and have to work and do all this stuff too. Ok...back to cleaning now!

what to do...

with a toddler? Abby and I are much more mobile now than we used to be so we are always looking for new things to do. I try to go somewhere with her everyday, it may not always be someplace spectacular and fun but it's out of the house ya know? Now that the weather is getting nicer (will it ever stop raining?) I am looking forward to more trips to the zoo, maybe a museum if I'm daring? We are so close to DC and a lot of pretty cool (free) stuff so I feel like I should take advantage of it. I have met some great moms through Little Gym and we try to get together at least once a week to have some fun, I'm proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone to make some new friends. It's been a little hard lately, my circle of friends seems to be getting smaller, people are busy with other things and new projects (I know, tiny violins are playing) so if I'm going to have some friends I need to be proactive. Although I have to say when I am busy I do try to make time for my friends, I just had to say it-there it's out there :) Next week I'm going to a moms night out dinner at the Melting Pot, I have always wanted to go there so I'm excited and I will get to meet some new moms to hopefully connect with and have a great time. Abby is awake and now I must go and put her back to sleep w/ my magic Mommy powers! nite!

to sleep..perchance to dream and other crap

O Internet, the time has come to try to sleep train Abby. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm dreading it in fact. But I would like to have some kind of normalcy to my sleep habits again. I hear stories about Mommies who actually (gasp!) get to sleep in their OWN BEDS! and I want to be there too. I have enjoyed sleeping with Abby and I'm sure I will miss it when that day comes when she is peacefully heading off to dreamland but I will also be doing the Dance of Joy in my bedroom. I got the book "Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber(the dreaded Ferber!) and so far it's very interesting, it's not just about cry it out apparently so I'm going to read it and them decide what we are going to do. Abby had ANOTHER ear infection and we just finished the meds today, next week we are going to get her ears checked to make sure the infection is gone and then we may start the sleep training. I think that it's going to be like the worst torture for me and probably worse for Edgar because he is a big wimp when it comes to Abby.
I am having a bit of a funk lately, I am missing a good, dear friend that I haven't seen or talked to in about 3 months. I was listening to my ipod the other night and reminiscing about old times when we would go out and dance dance dance our butts off with wild abandonment. I am just missing having friends in general lately, my good friends are all either not talking to me, 12 hours away, or too busy. Sometimes I feel like I'm begging people to be my friend and I really don't find that to be appealing. I do have some "mommy" friends I am getting to know so there is hope for me yet. le sigh...

my little mystery

I know this is an old pic but I think it's funny and I have been a bad mommy the last few weeks and really haven't taken any pictures. I have been lazy and not keeping up with the blog lately sorry Internet! I am a whee bit confused as late because my little Petunia has decided she is much too advanced to take naps and...maybe she only needs to nap for an hour a day but NO MORE. The last week has been nap mutiny, we were on such a great schedule for the last 6 months or more and alas now who knows...if I get one hour of nap I'm lucky. Teething?-yes she is like a fiend, could this be it? A friend of mine told me today that her son did this too when he transitioned to just one nap a day, so I'm going to go with this theory and hope for the best. Babies are a mystery I tell you!

I turned 32 last week and I don't really know how I feel about it. On one hand I know that it's not old and 50 is the new 30 and all that but 32...jeez it's just so much closer to 40 than 31. I don't know if it's just me but since I have had a baby I kind of don't know what my "identity" is anymore. Am I still a girl who likes to go out and dance? Am I just some one's mom now? Can I still get my clothes at H & M? Do I look like mutton dressed as lamb if I do? I was walking with Abby today and I saw a girl, probably around 15, walking home from school. She smiled at me and said hi and I said hi back and I thought, "wow, that was me 5 minutes ago" and it just blew my mind that time has gone by so fast. Has it really been 15 yrs or more that I was in high school?

I think I am allergic to Thank You notes. If I owe you one, I'm so sorry I suck at writing them. And mailing them. I have them written out and I didn't have stamps so instead of buying stamps I just gave up and forgot that you can actually buy stamps at the store so I had to wait for Edgar to give me some. Stamps that is.

a whole new world

Abby has been walking now for almost a week and we are entering a new phase now called-"I Don't Want To Walk Where You Want Me To" also someone must have taught her passive resisitance because if I try to pick her up to move her where I want her to go she goes limp. I'm already tired of chasing her around. If you have a baby and they aren't walking yet-enjoy. It is amazing though how fast they catch on to walking, everyday Abby gets a little more sure of herself and goes further and further without falling or tripping over invisible bumps in the carpet. We went to Stride Rite this week and spent way too much money on shoes, $40! I rarely even spend that on my own shoes, in fact...I haven't bought new shoes for 2 years almost--wow that is sad. All the shoes that Abby could wear were PINK, not just pink but PINK. I wanted something that looked girly but could be a little more neutral, I've been told by my good friend Kari that it is not possible at this stage in the game. Way to force kids into gender stereotypes Stride Rite!
Tonight Edgar and I went on a date to Sushi Damo in the Rockville Town Center. Wow, so delicious...I have been craving some sushi for a while now but since Edgar is a vegetarian we never eat it anymore. Funny how Edgar becoming a veggievore has totally screwed up my diet, no fair.

photos...

ugh, i posted the last blog in mozilla and for some reason it won't let me post photos so here is a couple of recent ones...