The Beginning

Hi Internet,
So...I thought that since I am a stay at home mom now I would give this blogging thing a go. I have become addicted to reading blogs of people that I don't know, it's very strange I feel like I know them now. It all began on 4/7/2008, Abigail was born at a whopping 9lbs 8oz (did you have a c-section? I hear you ask) no Internet, I did not. O it hurt, but after I had my glorious epidural it was smooth (if a bit choppy) sailing. That was the easy part. I'm not sure if you know Internet but after you have a baby your emotions are like a roller coaster that has come off the tracks and is hurtling to the ground at top speed, yes-I was a wreck. I had been watching television programs like, "Bringing Home Baby" and "A Baby Story" and after those ladies had their babies they went home and were so happy, and nursed w/ no problems, and loved their husbands and everything was hunky dory puppies and rainbows. It wasn't like that for me, I thought that something was wrong w/ me, why am I not happy all the time? Why do I not feel "closer" and more in love than ever w/ my husband? OMG I am a horrible mother and have made a terrible mistake!!! Then I talked to my mother and friends of mine who have had children, guess what? Everyone feels that way! EVERYONE Internet. Why is this not advertised? I know about post partum depression and all that but this is not as severe as that, it's just a horrible feeling of, inadequacy and OMG my life will never be the same! I make sure that I tell all my preggo friends that now, I'm sure they think I'm exaggerating or being obnoxious but once they have that baby and they get home, they will know what I mean. I have been a mum now for almost 9 months and it has been the most challenging, frustrating, lovely, painful, wonderful thing I have ever done. It's a pretty, pretty thing.