pumpkin patch

The Wake Up Call

Ugh...where to begin. Today has been gross. I have a bad temper, if you know me well you that I struggle to control it. alot. My fuse is short. I'm not proud of that fact and it is something that I am paying someone to help me with and boy is she going to get a story next week! Today started out as a crappy day, last night Abby slept badly, she has a cold. This morning she wouldn't eat her breakfast(won't eat=throwing food around and saying no alot), when your child won't eat it is SO ANNOYING. So, I'm trying to get ready and get her ready to go to Music Together and I decide to just take a banana for her to eat in the car (that banana changed my life lol). While I am deciding this and getting ready and trying to eat my breakfast Abby is crying, whining, throwing herself on the floor, stomping, scowling...all around ensuring she will be an only child for the rest of her life. My fuse was short. My temper was teetering on the edge. I get her into the car, after chasing her around it, and strap her in. Start the car, someone's little hand reaches up and the whining starts in the back seat. She wants a damn snack. ugh! so I get a banana out of the diaper bag and pass it back to her. She throws it on the floor of the car out of anger because apparently she didn't want a banana. That did it for me. I thought to myself, "OH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST THROW THAT FUCKING BANANA ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I thought let me just get this crap off the floor now before I forget and it starts to stink and then Edgar will get annoyed with me. So, I get out of the car and open the back passenger door and think, "hmmm...why is the car moving backwards?" and then I think, "OMFG THE CAR IS MOVING BACKWARDS!!!!!" Yes. I had the car in reverse and I got out and took my foot off the brake (hold your applause please) while the car was still in reverse. I just start screaming, "Omygodomygodomygod!!!!!!!" and Abby starts to cry (yea she is strapped into a moving car with no one behind the wheel, that's how I roll ok?) This where our carport comes in handy. I see that my driver's side door is about to hit one of the legs of the carport and think, "omygod I'm screwed if I f the car up!" and try to get into the car but can't do it fast enough because duh it's moving, so the driver's door gets caught on the leg of the carport slowing it down so that I can get in it and stop the car. Edgar runs out of the house because he heard me screaming from inside and (bless him) he gives me a big hug and tells me that everything is ok. Then after it sunk in he got real mad at me but hey I don't blame him that was pretty f'ing stupid.
I am so lucky that the car port slowed down the car. It could have been so much worse and just thinking about it makes me feel sick. The car could have kept going into the street and been hit by a car WITH ABBY IN IT. Or it could have hit someone's house. ugh. All because I was mad about some stupid piece of banana and that Abby had pissed me off sooooooooooo badly all morning I had no patience for that banana on the floor. I think I have learned today that sweating the small stuff is not worth it. Financially ( as now we have to pay our deductible, it's an AT FAULT ACCIDENT-MY FIRST BY THE WAY so our insurance will go up next year yay) that banana was not worth it. That piece of banana was not worth my baby being strapped alone in a moving vehicle with no one to control it. Being a mom is hard, stressful, frustrating beyond belief sometimes, and I don't even have to go to an outside job that was just us trying to go to a fun music class. Every summer, sadly, we hear about some mom or dad or forgot their baby was asleep in the car and left them in there. I used to think.."HOW could someone do that? How could you FORGET your child was in the car?" well, if you had to deal with all that frustration and getting to work and driving to daycare and being on time I guess I could see how a bad decision can be made. Pick your battles. Life is too short. Don't sweat the small stuff. Stop and smell the roses and hug your babies.

slacker

wow, I've been slacking on this blog thing huh? I'm inspired now to keep it up from reading the blogs that I love, especially this one nieniedialogues.blogspot.com. I have decided that muy, muy organization is needed in our house. I'm sick of the clutter!!!! So I'm going to be finding some ways to organize myself and taking before and after shots. I figure if I put my messiness out there I have to do something about it right?

I'm all caught up in the swine flu vaccine frenzy right now. I have decided to get the shot for myself and for Abby. I think/hope that the risks for getting the swine flu out weigh the risks for the vaccine.

Abby is 18 months old now, she is lovely, divine, and delicious. I could just eat her up. and do on a regular basis. Yesterday she started to sing along with me when I was singing Twinkle Twinkle, of course she is not singing the actual words they are her own improvised lyrics. so she is a songwriter as well as being delicious.

I am posting a picture of my first organizational hurdle: the baker's rack. eek.

big girl in little chair

I took this photo today of Abby and I can't stop looking at it thinking, "omg, she looks so grown up" it makes me sad and proud all that the same time. And makes me laugh too because she was wearing her Elmo bib as a cape :)

hobo baby

The past week has been full of friends and fun. We went to Old Town Alexandria for dinner last week with Joe who was on a Booze Allen work trip to DC. He and Edgar used to be roommates a few hundred years ago and he is such a nice guy. We went to dinner at The Chart House, pretty good food but a little overpriced. They had no veggie options so Edgar got a baked potato and a Caesar salad (the salad could have fed a small town it was so huge) and was very happy with his choices. I had shrimp scampi and it was ok, not 25.00 worth of ok, but ok. Abby was such a good little lady at dinner, she was eating bread, ate some squash that I brought from home, and drank about 3 liters of milk from her kids cup the restaurant gave her. Her and I were engaged in a game of "hold the straw in your mouth like a dog would a stick" for most of dinner which was making her giggle, so I wasn't thinking about the fact that she was drinking SUCH a lot of fluids or taking her to the lady's room to check her diaper. Edgar asked me if I needed to take her and I said, "nah..she will be fine..they make diapers to hold lots of pee pee duh!" ugh...I hate when he is right. When we were finished dinner I picked up Abby out of the high chair and realized that her pants were soaked. With. Pee. oops. So, I took her to the bathroom and realized I didn't have wipes. Me=failing as mother. I couldn't leave the pants on her since they were pee soaked so I had to just put her in a diaper and she had to ride around Old Town in her stroller, for all to see in her underwear and a shirt. Oh, and she also had no shoes or socks on which really completed her hobo look.

another thing no one tells you

When I look at this picture I remember how much of a good time we were having on our honeymoon. We were at an English "pub" in Orlando, Fl. We had been there before when we were there for a friend's wedding, so it is our "local" when we visit there. We were drinking, I was smoking (o cigarettes...i miss you so), we could have sex whenever we wanted to (o yea, I'm going there)....life was us just doing whatever the hell we want to whenever we wanted to do it. We sure as hell didn't argue all the time or loose the ability to communicate with each other. I think something happens to your relationship after you have a child that is so wonderful, I mean it's lovely and wonderful and blah, blah, blah...What they DON'T tell you is that your husband will become so annoying to you that you will want to shove things up his nose or throw things at him. Or is that just me? I have a wonderful, amazing, adorable husband...he is thoughtful(the other night he went and bought me a Star magazine and an itunes gift card just for the heck of it), patient, a good provider, all around pretty much everything I was looking for. He pretty much deserves a fricking medal for putting up with my array of bitchiness and crap since Abby has been born. I'm very lucky. I guess I just have only enough patience for Abby and after that I just go into complete crazy lady mode at the slightest annoyance. I've never been a very patient person. It is a flaw of mine that I hate. I think having Abby sucked all my reasoning abilities and whatever extra patience I had out of me (not much) and I need to find a way to get them back.
I have been working out since I last wrote on here and it's so great, I have missed working out soooooooo much. Granted...I'm sore as hell but I love being sore from working out. I feel like it will do me good to clear my head and get out of the house for an hour each day. And maybe I will try a little therapy (shhhh, don't tell) I think I need someone other than my mom or my husband to tell me I'm behaving like a crazy bitch to make me actually take note.

Summertime...

I can't believe I haven't updated in such a long time, sorry for neglecting you Internet! Summer is well underway, in fact...sadly it's almost over. Abby and I have been having lots of adventures like the one pictured here <---- at our favourite playground. The best part of that playground to Abby is not the slides, swings, or the big hippo mouth that she is pictured sitting in. Abby loves the mulch, she loves to throw it, pick it up, smell it, lick it, TRY to eat without mommy seeing, give it to other kids, and make big piles of it on every piece of playground equipment possible. She is a mulch fiend.
This summer Abby has become addicted to Elmo. I can't even say the "E word" (or type it) without her asking , "Elme? Elme? Elme? Elme?" in such a cute little questioning way that is very hard not to shove the dvd into the player just to get her a little Elmo fix. I have managed her addiction by buying some Sesame Street cd's so that we can listen to Elmo and dance to him singing various songs. Over. And over. And over. Again. So I guess she is an Elmo fiend too. I wonder if their are 12 step programs for toddlers?
I'm excited because today I joined a fitness center! I am looking forward to working out because, A..I need to, I am skinny fat right now-my weight is fine but I have no muscle tone. And B...I need to get out of the house and clear my head. I love my Abby, and I love being home with her but by the end of the day I'm ready for a break for at least an hour. It's not easy to have a break and to stay in the house because Abby isn't as gullible as she used to be and will bang on the door and scream and scream until I relent and let her in. Seriously, I can't even poop by myself. So I'm having a session with a trainer tomorrow, which I didn't want to do but they make you do it so they can show you how to use the equipment. I know how to use it already but doesn't hurt to brush up. I haven't worked out seriously for about 7 years. That's sad. So I will let you know how sore I am on Saturday! wish me luck.